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Post by AREA666 on Jun 2, 2006 22:37:29 GMT -5
Thought : Ok here's one of the many questions in life. How is it that if you lift your foot off the ground and move it in a clockwise motion then draw the number six in the air and divide the square root of pop tart by the whole sum of goat cheese pizza you get 5 but it should clearly equal 2? by the way has any one seen my prostetic toe its been missing for a couple days now ever since i made it watch doctor phil with me its been missing?
I have done that whole little life my food, draw six thingy and I can make it work how it is not supposed to work and I can get 15 our of it, so I am in the same predicament as you. I think the reason the numbers come out false has to do with the algae used in the poptarts interacting with the mutant space boogers of the goat cheese actually coming from an extinct breed of platypus. When this happens photosynthesis occurs and the planets align in an upside down zepplin made of Oreo's. You toe has gone back in time and is changing history so that humans evolve into giant toes with humans where the toes would be on us today and then he will be their ruler. If you watch the history channel you can see some of his changes such as he is present in the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima, he was crucified rather then Christ, and the fact that China was never founded and is now a large swimming hole.
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lindalou
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Post by lindalou on Jun 2, 2006 23:13:58 GMT -5
Yes I too seem to be lacking in the creative juices lately but feel it coming to the top again rather like a large boil that must be excised to prevent it from exploding with large gooey gobs of sarcastic bacteria that calls you names and leaves a flaming bag of poo on your steps. Sorry Alucard, you have had some pretty good thoughts lately and I know when I am out done, I bow to your creative process. Which, from what I understand is much like the creation of the alge infused pop tarts.
By the way if you ever see your big toe again tell him Thanks Alot he totally ruined my study of the upside down Zepplin made of Oreo's. I was snapping pictures of it thru my inverted telescope made of popsicle sticks and spagetti (I made it at camp, at least they tell me it's camp, but it sure was more fun to make than weaving all those stupid baskets) anyway all of a sudden all I could see was this big toe #angry# The sky went dark, all the birds flew away and an ominous wind began to blow. So I said to hell with it and went inside, it was past the time for my pudding cup anyway.
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Post by AREA666 on Jun 3, 2006 0:38:35 GMT -5
mmmm, pudding. What kind did your insane asylum aka "camp" feed you, Soylent Green I hope? I too have been slacking in the replies and what not, but I have been slacking on lots of stuff around here that I should not be. Not sure why, just got hit with a more then normal lazy streak I guess. But school starts again soon so I cant be lazy and will soon be back to posting about the Fibblesnorkians and their giant mutant space booger ships powered by thoughts of dusty pickles.
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Alucard
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Post by Alucard on Jun 3, 2006 15:39:57 GMT -5
i had a pet dusty pickle once and well i think while i was walking through the desert i got hungry and well my pet pickle started looking awfully good so i got out my mcguyver cook book and cooked it with a cactus and some saute'd sand.......let me tell you cooking with a duct tape pan and subduing a rowdy pet pickle is not as easy as it sounds.....what ?!.......umm....i forget.......
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lindalou
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Post by lindalou on Jun 6, 2006 1:46:36 GMT -5
Yeah them pet pickles can cause quite a ruckus if they think you are going to saute them. I am suprised you still have both of your arms. I heard about a guy who tried that and his pet dusty pickle chewed his arms off. But I have also heard that it is worth the struggle, way better then my Soylent Green pudding cup. I heard they taste like a cross between sour milk and raw clams, darool da-rool.
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Post by hiramsedai on Jul 27, 2006 15:12:18 GMT -5
with my struggle to fit in, I wanted so badly to contribute herein and perhaps be noticed by one or more of the very worthy denizens but I did not take LDS in college so both of my brain cells are approaching synaptic overload with those very, very profound concepts. I simply cannot fathom such things and I tend to drool on my keyboard and rest my sloping forehead on my monitor in dismay.
It is all dependent upon if you are not too apathetic to lift your foot off the ground. Clockwise? Why be such a conformist? Its nonsensical to use your foot with our without sock to do advanced mathematical equations when you have that overly expensive cakcalator on your desktop gathering dust.
If I mattered, I would recommend keeping both feet on the floor and stop using the antiquated method of timekeeping with clockwise and counterclockwise. The foot is supposed to gently nudge the little mrs to get you another beer while you play your game in keeping with my caveman ethics.
In autistic summary, I would like to point out that I have been very thoroughly welcomed in the welcome forum (go figure) but cannot possibly participate in here because I am just not bright enough.
I do apologize.
edit: I am replete with foibles and had to correct some verbage mea culpa maxima
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Jul 28, 2006 7:47:24 GMT -5
Yep.... you will fit in here just fine.... #thumbsup#
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Alucard
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Post by Alucard on Jul 28, 2006 22:18:43 GMT -5
As the moderator of this forum and the keeper of the pigeons i Would like to extend a welcome to you .....but that is just not my style, in stead i will say may your toaster be possessed and you dreams filled with thoughts of furbies assassinating world leaders and replacing them with light fixtures. Just so that you are aware since you posted in my forum i will grant you access to many of life's questions and the answers as well. on a closing note remember do not read between the lines for it will surely drive you mad and you will forever smell of toe jam and fried spam fermented in a yaks stomach for a year and a half.
in the immortal words of ....well me
may your cheese never gain consciousness and may you never be subjected to balancing on a yo yo while counting back-wards from z while contemplating the mating call of a platypus.
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Post by hiramsedai on Jul 31, 2006 9:29:40 GMT -5
I do possess a toaster.
Other than that, the rest went miles over my balding head. I don't pretend to understand such cosmic thoughts and the immense profundity of your words, Mister Alucard. I am not a smart man (Jennay) but at least I know how to make peanut butter sammiches.
I would thank you for noticing me and for the welcome if that was a welcome. I dared put a furry toe in the tepid waters of your forum because fools dare to tread sometimes. As I grovel in a most deprecating manner, I fully acknowledge that this is your forum and of all the forums I've visited in my travels, yours is the most...well...yours. You are the moderator herein and I am not. We've established that I am a peonic miscreant with sad, sorry delusions of caramel dreams with the occasional fudge brownie dancing. Oh, try to tell me you haven't had that dream yet!!
No, I'm not looking for questions or answers. I have plenty of both. (they are both 2) I have already conquered the dewey decimal system and its effect on body wash. I found that when my bar of soap started looking like a Chia Pet, I had to find another way to wash away the malodorous stench of being me. I know about fetid, rancid, odors because I am a repugnant, hairy fellow that reeks on a daily basis. If I don't bathe in nair, my wife is forced to braid my back hair for me.
No, I doubt if you would care about my hygeine because you are the moderator and are therefore above such menial things. I do hope that from your lofty vantage point, you notice the liliputian beings scurrying around your moderator feet every once in a while and share a gift from the holy moderator colon. (am i talking about punctuation or something else?)
Just know, grand, supreme moderator of your forum, we see you as you keep your pigeons when you should have given them back. Even the head despot of the Alucardian way of thinking has to pay for his pigeons.
PS Regarding my toaster, The Power of Spam compels you!
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Post by AREA666 on Oct 13, 2006 17:52:20 GMT -5
Been a very long time since I did some random talking so...
Thought : you ever notice how if you cough and sneeze at the same time while you are riding a goat backwards to deliver jello to your local lint herder that you can almost communicate with a hollowed out snow cone? If not then you should try this as soon as possible since i have learned that humans are really the descendents of ...ooohhh yeah that reminds me of the time i wrestled a whole pack of starved and crazy girl scouts. By the way 3 wishes is back up and running just click on this link to go there
The problem for me is that if I cough and sneeze at the same time, while keeping all other factors the same, my experience is totally different. I end up being transported back in time and end up having my conscious being end up in inside a lightbulb above a Richard Simmons class. It gets rather annoying because it is very hot in there and the view of sweating fat people is not to fun. But I did learn how the bugs get inside a sealed bulb. Apparantly there is a micro conspiracy going on where an invasion is planned of Earth, but the invaders need to be inside a air tight environment in order to eat their watches, so they teleport inside lightbulbs only to find out that math and the alphabet are the same thing. But anyway the aliens did tell me who humans are descended from. Man, I never saw that one coming. Not in a million years would I have guessed it, but oh well.
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Alucard
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Post by Alucard on Oct 31, 2006 2:17:02 GMT -5
i see well it is unfortunate that you end up in a class with richard simmons even if it is above the class thats gotta leave deep emotional scarring. nothing like sweating to the oldies unless you actually have to watch some one do it. reminds me of the time i found that autographed michale jackson picture in your closet....i asked how you got it and you kept insisting that my refridgerator planted it there as some kind of intergallatic sign for the invaders to attack.....hmmmm my friend you are quite the curious one.
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Post by AREA666 on Oct 31, 2006 12:42:01 GMT -5
Because your fridge DID put it there. I do not care if there is no way for it to have fit through the door way without causing half my room to collapse. I saw it put it there. I did find some interesting trinkets that you left behind when you went on one of your trips. Perhaps I should tell the world about those as well now?
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