Instructions for the mentally disabled

[Alucard]

"Dumb Product Labels"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.


On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(i Don't think i've ever seen irregular soap)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down."
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(damn and i was hoping it would stay frozen)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(what else could you do with them?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Wow....thats sad)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."
( Really i was confused i thought these were just tiny pillows)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(i say take the warning off, this would take care of the breeding problem)

[cyberkill]

Lol this is just to much fun

[MrBadExample]

I got a few more for you that I've seen:

On a childs stroller: "Remove child before folding."
On a welding torch: "Not recommended for use while sleeping."
On a bottle of Cotazym (replacement enzymes for people whose bodies do not produce enough natural digestive enzymes): "Take with food."
On a bottle of sleep-aids: "May cause drowsiness." (Which means there must be a chance they may NOT cause drowsiness)
On a bucket of paint: "Not for consumption."
On my lawn-mower: "Do not stick hand under mower while blades are in motion."

Kinda makes you wonder, these companies probably have to put those there to avoid legal difficulties, which means there was probably someone out there who actually tried some of this crap. No wonder the Darwin Awards has so many entries.

For those who don't know, the Darwin Awards is a list of people whose greatest contribution is removing themselves from the gene pool in the most retarded way they can; like the guy who made his own parachute from a tarp and tested it by jumping off a cliff (he had a test-dummy of the same weight as him, but at the last minute decided there was no way his design could fail)

Maybe it's a good thing to have "smart drinks" on the market after all.