stupid people stories

[Alucard]

Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[Alucard]

Added: January 21, 1998 Submitted by Beth
This is by far my favorite story from my boyfriend, who works as a 911 dispatcher (I can't tell you where, he's not even supposed to tell me these things).

The conversation goes something like this:

Dispatcher: ________ County 911

Guy: Yo, man, are the cops looking for me?

D: I dunno, *should* they be looking for you?

G: Yeah, man.

D: What'd you do?

G: I stole a jeep.

D: Well, I can check. What's your name?

G: _________ (<-- gives his name)

D: Ok, I'll check. This may take a few minutes, so how about you give me your phone number and if I have to hang up I'll call you back.

G: Ok, it's ________

My boyfriend looked up the fact there was indeed a report of a stolen jeep, the guy's address from the phone number, and was still on the phone with the guy when the police he dispatched burst into the guy's apartment and arrested him.

if this isn't a prime example of why stupid people shouldn't be allowed to breed i don't know what is.

[MrBadExample]

That's nothing. You should see the Darwin Awards (www.darwinawards.com).

One man was hanging out near a train yard with his son and the son's girlfriend. For some reason they thought they would have more fun on the other side of the fence (the side with the tracks on it). Once there, the father decided he wanted to see how far a train could pull a shopping cart. He tied a bottle to one end of a rope, and the other end to a shopping cart. When a train came by, he threw the bottle, hoping it would catch between the cars. His first attempt missed, but he quickly tied another bottle to the rope and tried again. The second bottle caught on a railing, and he and the two young people cheered. What nobody realized is that he was standing in a very bad spot. As the train dragged the shopping cart, it crashed into him and took him with it. He was found about 40 miles away and immediately pronounced dead. At the funeral, his son said something like "He was such a funny guy, always making people laugh. I wish I had his gift."

Another fellow (this one in eastern Europe) left his house one day in the winter to find his engine frozen over (meaning the fuel in the lines had frozen solid). Being puzzled for a moment, he finally remembered that at some point in the past, he had managed to thaw something out with a lighter. Drawing on this memory, he stuffed paper under the engine and lit it. Fortunately for him (and unfortunate for the species) something distracted him, and he wandered off to investigate, meaning that he was unhurt by the resulting explosion. To his credit, when the news reporters showed up to get his story, he managed to identify his problem. He turned to the cameras and said "maybe I use too much paper".