Stupid people Suing others

[Alucard]

courtesy of stupid people pages


I read this in the Tulsa World a few weeks ago...
A construction worker used a circular saw to intentionally cut off one of his hands while on the work site. He claimed that the hand was possessed. Co-workers rushed the man to the hospital and brought the severed hand. At the hospital, the man demanded that the doctors NOT reattach the hand because it was possessed. Now he is suing the doctors and hospital for damages because he claims they should have known that he was psychotic and reattached the hand anyway. Dumb!

[Alucard]

PHILADELPHIA, Pa. - A woman is suing the pharmacy that sold her a popular contraceptive jelly - because she ate the stuff on toast and got pregnant anyway.

And, incredibly, many legal experts are saying she's got an excellent chance of collecting!

"The woman is a complete idiot," said one attorney who asked that we not use his name. "How bright can you be if you think eating a vaginal gel will prevent conception?

"But certain aspects of the case involve truth in labeling and false advertising issues. She may not collect but she'll make a lot of noise and trouble. People are down on lawyers anyway. They think we waste time and money on frivolous lawsuits. This isn't going to help our public relations any."

A spokesman for the unnamed mom-and-pop drugstore says he's shocked and angry that such a case could ever be taken seriously. "All she has to do is open the box and read the directions," says the spokesman. "Next thing you know someone will come after us because they couldn't stick things together with their toothpaste.

"I can just imagine some moron saying: 'It's paste, isn't it? Why can't I glue these papers onto my bulletin board?'"

But attorneys for Mrs. Chyton say she was swindled and lied to by implication and they intend to make the pharmacy pay $500,000 for the hardship the woman will have to endure.

"It says right on it 'jelly,'" says Mrs. Chyton, a former model who was once a cheerleader for a popular professional basketball team.

"And they kept it on the shelf just two aisles from the food section. I know, now, that the directions say it should be used vaginally with a condom.

"But who has time to sit around reading directions these days - especially when you're sexually aroused?

"The company should call it something else and the pharmacy shouldn't sell it without telling each and every customer who buys it that eating it won't prevent you from getting pregnant."

As bizarre as it sounds, the pharmacy could wind up losing the lawsuit.

"It's hard for businesses to avoid troublesome lawsuits," said another attorney.

"With the courts bending over backwards to please consumer groups, the temper of the times is perfect for these crackpots to bring legal action against businesses - even a moronic legal action like this."

[Alucard]

Added: May 20, 1997.
Remember Stella Liebeck, who pried $640,000 out of McDonalds after spilling a cup of McCoffee she was balancing between her knees in her grandson's car. But did you hear about John Parker, who tried a similar between-the-legs McDonald's lawsuit - With a milkshake? (He lost).

see see its only getting worse we should just put them all in 1 place and nuke it. or make a reality show out of it called survival of the fitest the only way to win is to outlive every one else and when the games finally over we shoot who ever is left standing.

[AREA666]

The people who do these things I dont know if I should feel sorry for them because they are so stupid, or that they would need to pretend to be so stupid which could actually mean they are rather smart to think up these things. Other then that guy cutting his hand off though since that is just dumb. But anyway I dont know if I should feel that or to be jealous of them because they now have alot of money and I do not.

[Alucard]

well if you want to go in front of a court and explain to people how you thought that eating ky jelly could prevent you from impregnating some one be my guest. i will be the guy in the back pointing and laughing. or if you want to claim that by spilling a milk shake on yourself that you then suffered from frost bite....the above applies once again. you shouldn't feel sorry for them. then again i am kind of
biased... since the dumb asses flock to me every time i leave the house. and again i feel they should be duct taped together in the largest bumper car arena i can find and have them be the targets.

[AREA666]

Sounds like it could be a fun game. Maybe there could be a double reward for you. Not only are you getting to bash them till they die, but there could be a point system set up. So say the audience gives you these points. If you earn enough of them for killing in creative ways then you get the money the person won. Of course if they were just stupid and didnt win anything you wouldnt be getting the money, but you would probably be showered with gifts from the audience for doing the world a favor by weeding out those who are not worthy.