Bludgeon and eviscerate the Newbie

[hiramsedai]

am loving the board and the sacred stuff

the little mrs and I just discovered Sacred Gold and play via LAN



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[Hallelujah]

Welcome, Hiramsedai! Glad you like the board and Sacred. Don't worry too much about bludgeoning and eviscerating... just watch out for the crazies. :laugh: I think it's catching!

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[Night Ω Wolfe]

#welcome# to my site and forum... glad you like it!!



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[lindalou]

#jester# MMMmmm fresh meat da rool darool personally I would rather be pummeled with a radish than eviscerated but to each their own. But bludgeoning is always a blast.

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[hiramsedai]

Never have I been so thoroughly welcomed. I find myself a bit overwhelmed and I need to blow my nose now.

I would like to thank all the little people I had to step on to get to where I am today. I'd like to thank the Academy...

There have been few times in my mediocre existence where I might be welcomed unless it happens to be a dumpster.

Thank you one and all. *sniffle*



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[Hallelujah]

You are so very welcome. I sincerely hope that you don't run out of kleenex. #statue#

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[hiramsedai]

hallelujah said:

You are so very welcome. I sincerely hope that you don't run out of kleenex. #statue#

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no, sorry...paper towels

i have a magnus nasus (big nose)

I was the kid whose head was always tipping over because of the tremendous honker. My dear mother told me that I may meet a nice blind girl later on in life. "Marry her dear but don't bring her home"
she would say as she dropped me off at the grocery store in the produce isle just in case others were looking for some ears of corn and an adolescent ape child.



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[AREA666]

No no no, paper towels do not work, what you should use is a nice coarse sandpaper. In using it each time you blow your nose you will shave off some of the skin, so in say about 48 years, 6 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 36 minutes, 15 seconds, 8 microseconds and 98 picoseconds you will have a normalish nose that will resemble Micheal Jacksons, but do not worry since you can always buy a Mr.Potato Head to fix any problems.

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[hiramsedai]

area666 said:

No no no, paper towels do not work, what you should use is a nice coarse sandpaper. In using it each time you blow your nose you will shave off some of the skin, so in say about 48 years, 6 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 36 minutes, 15 seconds, 8 microseconds and 98 picoseconds you will have a normalish nose that will resemble Micheal Jacksons, but do not worry since you can always buy a Mr.Potato Head to fix any problems.

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I simply cannot use a box of Kleenexes (Kleeni??)
I go through the whole box with one nostral tied behind my back. I have to have the obligatory roll because of allergies all year round. Since I live down here in the buckle of the Bible belt (south of the Manson Nixon Line) I sneeze all year round.

Yes, I learned early that since I fell off that ugly tree, was beaten with the ugly stick and was a victim of "toss the baby" that my facial features would never be normal.

Therefore, in 48 years I will still be disgustingly repulsive. I know that my wife has cleaned her glasses because I hear retching from the other side of the livingroom. Husbandly objects may appear suddenly repugnant.

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[Hallelujah]

I'm thinking the sandpaper idea is good one. Or, you could do like my mother has always done and go everywhere with a roll a toilet paper in hand leaving little wads of it odd places. She's constantly pulling out bits of toilet paper from a pocket to blow her nose with.

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[hiramsedai]

hallelujah said:

I'm thinking the sandpaper idea is good one. Or, you could do like my mother has always done and go everywhere with a roll a toilet paper in hand leaving little wads of it odd places. She's constantly pulling out bits of toilet paper from a pocket to blow her nose with.

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i'm reminded of when I was a kid cutting grass with my kid powered push mower. I had to stop and blow my nose from hay fever.

Regarding the sandpaper, is simply is not absorbant enough. Each sneeze from my gigantic proboscus next .5 gals. I sneeze an average of 37 times a day. I can drench small people and animals. Think of a shower of boogies.

Also, my fine sand paper is used for building plastic WWII models and simply would not work on my nose. Its been proven that as I shave each moring and weep because of the reflection looking back at me, that a simple strip of sandpaper cannot erase 37 years of repulsive.

I do thank each of you for your very kind and heartfelt encouragement regarding my plight. It warms my heart to know that such a kind spirit exists on this board. I won't pretend for a second to be worthy of such attention.

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[lindalou]

I was thinking perhaps an 80 grit wet/dry sand paper glued to a scotch bright pad may help, it would at least filter out the large chunks which suffocate the small animals and children. Granted it is not terribly absorbent but it could help you get to the the Mr. Potato Head stage then perhaps your wife could stop retching. I will bet you guy's go thru alot of cleaning products, which are your favorites so I can invest in their stock?

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[hiramsedai]

lindalou said:

I was thinking perhaps an 80 grit wet/dry sand paper glued to a scotch bright pad may help, it would at least filter out the large chunks which suffocate the small animals and children. Granted it is not terribly absorbent but it could help you get to the the Mr. Potato Head stage then perhaps your wife could stop retching. I will bet you guy's go thru alot of cleaning products, which are your favorites so I can invest in their stock?

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I am underwhelmed by the concern showed about my large nose.
Insofar as sandpaper is not a viable solution to any of the more snotty problems, I must seek other methods to absorb the copious amounts of fluids that explode from my head while sneezing.

Perhaps if I type it again: Sandpaper won't work because it won't absorb the boogies.

Now, back to thanking everyone who so warmly welcomed me to this board. I shall ever be grateful to both of you who genuinely welcomed me and wished me well. The multitudinous population that roams through here on a daily basis hasn't found this thread quite yet.



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[Deonhower Colmyne]

I'm late as usual but hello and #welcome# Glad you're enjoying the site.