The Innanet is Broke!!

[hiramsedai]

I work as Webmaster/Website help in a nice little office.

I'm not from the South, but I do live here in Georgia. Therefore, my English is very very different than everyone else's here. The average phone call I deal with has the other person complaining that the "innanet is broke" and then I have to explain how to log into our business website.

I struggle
I try

I will not be sarcastic...again

I have mentioned that since Al Gore created the Innanet, it can't be broke.

~silence on the other end of the line~


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[AREA666]

If they think the entire net is broke then let them continue to think so. Tell them you are aware of the problem and that the president should be making a statement about it shortly and that the reason it is broken is because two feuding families over the issue of a missing pig decided to get their shotguns and hit the primary DSL plant, which is of course a Digital Steam Line, and that all the steam has escaped now, so the military is being recalled from Iraq and such to search for it.

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[hiramsedai]

area666 said:

If they think the entire net is broke then let them continue to think so. Tell them you are aware of the problem and that the president should be making a statement about it shortly and that the reason it is broken is because two feuding families over the issue of a missing pig decided to get their shotguns and hit the primary DSL plant, which is of course a Digital Steam Line, and that all the steam has escaped now, so the military is being recalled from Iraq and such to search for it.

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i've tried that type of humor on many of local slack jaw yokels but to no avail. I get the blank stare and the inevitable response of "you ain't right"

They do respond to the "Larry the Cable Guy" humor but that is not my forte at all.

I had one customer say that my email address is "broke" because when she double clicked on the Blue "E" and wrote my email address in the browzer, it wouldn't email me.

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[Whiplash]

i have worked now for 2 different major cell phone providers, both in their respective tech support departments, and i have run into some of the dumbest people on the face of the earth. one lady complained that her cell phone would not turn on. so i asked her to take the battery off real quick to make sure it was not damaged, these are her exact words "Hold on one sec, i have to go get it" she did not have the battery in the phone! i asked her why and these were her exact words "Its much lighter with out the battery".....................(me dumbfounded) the question i asked myself "how heavy is a cell phone?". another customer kept his SIM card (the chip that makes GSM cell phones work) in his wallet, because he thought he needed that as proof that he owned the phone. other random ones are people who dont know how to turn off their cell phone, dont know that on a cell phone you dont get a dial tone, just ringing, or even dumb celebs calling up. I personally spoke to: Charlie Sheen, Lucy Lawless (Xena) and Martina Naveritalova (tennis player) and all of them had no idea how to use their cell phones. the stupidity of the people today amazes me.

[MrBadExample]

Yeah, I can relate. I worked a lot of tech support in my time, and it never ceased to amaze me that people can come up with new ways to screw things up. Among the more interesting things I've heard:

- "What's a backup?"
- "I don't bother with that 'shutdown' crap, it takes too long"
- "I figured the keyboard was dirty, so I gave it a good scrub" (this included the circuit board itself, and somebody didn't even do a good job of drying off the soap and water before plugging it back in)
- "Something is wrong with this thing. It won't turn on when I use my remote" (poor soul actually believed that universal remote means it can operate anything)

And this does not include the ones who just barged in, handed over a machine, and said 'it doesn't work, fix it!', expecting I could diagnose and fix the problem there-and-then, with them standing nearby (guess what happens when you can't find a problem/can't fix this particular problem/need to ship back to factory). I'm lucky I don't have a permanent scar on my tongue from biting it when they showed up.

But to be fair, the majority had an attitude more along the lines of "you probably know better than I do, so can I just leave it with you and you call me when there is news?"

Well I'm done my contribution to this angry rant thread.

[Ari’laftia]

Oh I know the these types of people all too well! My hubby used to do in home computer repair, He has now stopped for the most part, He will fix for family. thats it!
We had one woman whos system crashed at two in the morning... She called us.. at two in the morning. He was at work and she demanded his work number. Uh no LOL. She wanted him to leave IBM at 2 in the morning to fix it.
Oh and we had one other who through his actions is what caused Riptide to drop repair all together. This guy would come to drop his computer off.. and NOT LEAVE!!! He stayed in our house for 6 Hours!! standing over his shoulder, distracting and irritating and the cause of it taking 6 hours.. I am SO glad he doesn't let freaks in our house anymore...