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Post by Ari’laftia on Apr 18, 2007 17:08:09 GMT -5
Well In my search for a new quote, I can across some doozys! Its hard to pick just one!
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? He who laughs last didn't get it. When there's a will, I want to be in it.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. The road to success is always under construction. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool! All generalizations are false, including this one. Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I'll add more in a minute, I have to change mine again! LOL
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Post by Deonhower Colmyne on Apr 18, 2007 17:26:36 GMT -5
well the only funny quotes I know are not original. Most of them got stuck with me because a friend couldn't remember how it really goes, but tried to say it with confidence. You'll see what I mean when you try to read it and the person who was trying to say it was dead serious:
A friend of mine got paranoid about a blind item in which he is seemingly the target so he says: "You're barking at the wrong dog!"
A co-worker was goofing around the work area and I warned her that if caught, her actions are subject to disciplinary actions. She frowned and replied: "When the cat is away, there is no cat."
An envious friend of mine was criticizing the sweet couple banked in a group of friends in a cafe. They were socialites but nice people. He kind of despises socialites or those who have a Paris Hilton personality. So he say: "Hmp! Birds of the same feather, are the same birds!"
Former supermodel Melanie Marquez once stepped forward in defense of her brother who was in a pinch. She says in a media interview: "Stop judging my brother, for my brother is not a book!" ... said with flaring nostrils and conviction
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Post by Ari’laftia on Apr 18, 2007 17:31:57 GMT -5
hahahah the cat got me!!!!!!! Those are fantastic!!!!
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."
Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
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Post by beckyh on Apr 18, 2007 20:26:05 GMT -5
LOL!!! I hate that dancing paperclip...
I like the "there's a fine line between fishing..." one too, although I have nothing against fishing, its just wicked funny.
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MrBadExample
Beta Wolf
[M0n:31]
[M0:7]The voices in my head say I'm perfectly sane, and that's good enough for me.
Posts: 406
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Post by MrBadExample on Apr 18, 2007 22:31:51 GMT -5
I would think the best example moron-babble was our previous prime minister, Jean Chretien When asked what proof Iraq has weapons of mass destruction would be acceptable he said
"I don't know, a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof is a proof? A proof is a proof and when you have a good proof it's because it's proven."
The sad thing is, he held that office for 10 years, simply because the population thought he was th pick of the litter relative to the other candidates.
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Post by Ari’laftia on Apr 18, 2007 22:49:45 GMT -5
Found more!!!
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
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MrBadExample
Beta Wolf
[M0n:31]
[M0:7]The voices in my head say I'm perfectly sane, and that's good enough for me.
Posts: 406
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Post by MrBadExample on Apr 22, 2007 22:42:50 GMT -5
"You were playing your instruments weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" - Prince Phillip, to a school band
"I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time." - Mariah Carey, on the death of the King of Jordan
"I'll never get married again." - Elizabeth Taylor, 1982
"I've looked in the mirror for twenty years. It's the same face." - Claudia Schiffer
"I went in and said, 'if I see one more gratuitous shot of a woman's body, I'm quitting ...' I think the storyline should be emotional stories, morals,real-life heroes. And that's what we're doing." - David Hasselhoff, explaining the new angle in Baywatch
"You mean like a book?" - Justin Timberlake, when asked what was the best thing he had read all year
"I like most of the places I've been to, but I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't like eating fish, and I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Britney Spears
"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival bein held this year?" - Christina Aguilera
"As I said to the Queen, I can't stand name-droppers." - Alan Whicker (globetrotting TV presenter)
"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" - Prince Phillip, to a wealthy Cayman Islander
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields
"Where the hell is Australia, anyway?" - Britney Spears
"I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty two states." - Raquel Welch on Larry King Live
some bumper stickers I've seen (not quite quotes, but still funny)
This is my other car. (if I recall correctly, it was on a Pinto)
If you can read this, you didn't go to school around here.
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