Funny News of the Day

[Ari’laftia]

Japan firm apologizes after toilets smoke, catch fireMon Apr 16, 10:11 AM ET

TOKYO (Reuters) - Twenty-six smoking toilets, and three more on fire, put a Japanese toilet maker in the hot seat on Monday.

Toto Ltd., known for its high-tech toilets with bidets that have blow-drying, air purification and seat-warming functions, apologized to consumers and offered free checks and repairs after some of its toilets with bidets and heated seats sent up smoke and three caught fire.

"We apologize deeply for the trouble we have caused to our customers," the company said in a statement. Toto said no people were injured as a result of the problems and damage was limited to a small part of the toilet tank. The problem was caused as friction was generated in a part inside the toilets, eventually producing heat. It affected some toilet models made between March 1999 and December 2001.

"We are offering free checks and repairs if needed to anybody who owns these models," a company spokesman said. The company's most famous product, the combined toilet/bidet or "wash let," is a common household article in Japan

Seattle man charged in bizarre duck caseMon Apr 16, 5:38 PM ET

EVERETT, Wash. - A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor Paul Stern on Thursday charged Kenneth Blaine Quinlan, 35, with two counts of third-degree assault and one count each of vehicular assault and hit-and-run.

Authorities say that on March 23, Quinlan and his 39-year-old girlfriend drove to a Lynnwood shopping center, where he entered a Linens 'n Things outlet and she went into a Petco store, taking the duck with her.

Stern wrote in court papers that a security guard thought he saw Quinlan shoplift an iPod speaker system, and a scuffle ensued.

Police say the guard chased Quinlan to the Petco store, where Quinlan got the car keys from his girlfriend and tried to escape.

The man jumped into the driver's seat of the car as the woman walked out of the store with her duck. Not knowing what was going on, she tried to stop him from driving away and was knocked down by the open car door as it backed up. She dropped the duck.

A Petco employee saw what was happening and "ran to save Peepers from the front of the car" just as Quinlan drove forward, Stern wrote. The car ran over the woman, inflicting serious injuries including broken bones in her foot and ankle, he said.

Charging papers say Quinlan continued driving and didn't stop until his vehicle struck another car nearby. The girlfriend and guard were not seriously hurt. Mr. Peepers was OK.

Quinlan was being held in the Snohomish County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail. A convicted felon and former heroin addict, he told officers that he'd just received a dose of methadone at a Lynnwood clinic and had used cocaine a few days earlier, according to court papers.

[MrBadExample]

I have no clue when most of this was printed. Enjoy!


Apple sues Apple Corp.

[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads, Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computers Corporation. The company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own machines which has helped to make the company famous.

An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.

Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. "In the old days Apple depended on its talented engineers to keep ahead of the competition, but now they have lost the edge, as well as their grasp on reality."

The industry will be sure to watch this case closely. If Apple wins the suit against itself, this could mean a massive recall of all Macintosh and Lisa computers which will need to be converted to avoid all graphics and desktop metaphors and instead provide a simple terminal-like interface. Such a move would cause a massive digression in the personal computer market. Users of computers would be forced to learn to read, which could cause dangerous literacy among college students and professionals.




LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9:

A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.

When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.



Normal traffic stop
Sunday, December 13, 1992
After police pulled over Kevin Temple, 35, in a routine traffic stop in Bronson, Fla., in October, a police dog sniffing the trunk became agitated. In the trunk and back seat, officers found the following live animals: 48 rattlesnakes, a Gila monster, 45 non-poisonous snakes, 67 scorpions, several tarantulas and small lizards, and a parrot. Temple said they were just pets.



This one is rumour instead of a printed story

Working cards at ATMs

One day in line for the automatic teller I overheard:
[Person 1]: Gee, I don't get it..
[Person 2]: What's wrong?
[Person 1]: My card wont work.
[Person 2]: Did anything happen to it?
[Person 1]: I don't think so... It wasn't working very well for a while, so I rubbed the strip on the back with a magnet to recharge it... Now it isn't working at all!



Phone keeps ringing

Phone Won't Stop Ringing?

Here's What You Do

Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it.

The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.

From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.

Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery.

The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.

At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leoloa said, "No problem. How many nights?"

A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be necessary," Leola said. "We trust you."

The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.

She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could watch her favorite soap opera, but her biggest challenge came in the afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's wedding in June.

Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of valet parking came up. Once again Leola was helpful. "There's no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the client tips the drivers."

Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.

People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and were all told there were no such events.

Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."

Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the telephone number."

[beckyh]

Oh god... the Japanese have way better toilets than we do. Now I'm immensely jealous and considering moving.

[Ari’laftia]

Squirrel goes on rampage, injures 3

Thu Jun 14, 10:42 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

[Ari’laftia]

Streaker sets off school extinguisher

Fri Jun 15, 6:18 PM ET

ERIE, Pa. - A man ran naked through a school and set off a fire extinguisher, but no students were present at the time, police said. Police said they had surveillance footage of the man, who broke a window to enter and tampered with surveillance cameras. They also have fingerprints.

Central Tech custodian Mike Rossi said he confronted the man in a hallway about 6 a.m. Thursday after an alarm went off. The man had clothes in his hands and was in the school for 10 to 15 minutes before fleeing when security arrived.

He appeared to be an older teenager and police think he could have been a former student.
___

Information from: Erie Times-News, www.goerie.com

Sometimes you just have to wonder why? I mean if no one was there in the first place than whats the point? LOL

[Ari’laftia]

He mus be relesssed

Timothy Rouse, 19, who had been charged with assaulting an elderly person, was released from the Kentucky Correctional and Psychiatric Center in LaGrange recently after jailers accepted as official a crudely written, ungrammatical fax ordering him freed. The fax was supposedly from the state supreme court but the originating line clearly showed a local grocery store. Furthermore, it took jailers two weeks to realize they had been scammed. Fortunately Rouse was easily re-arrested at his mother’s house.

[Ari’laftia]

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:20:28 GMT

LONDON (Reuters) -

Manners aside, getting cows to burp less can help reduce global warming.

Using modern plant-breeding methods to find new diets for cows that make them belch less is a way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, scientists said on Monday.

The key is developing new varieties of food that are easier for cattle to digest and also provide a proper balance of fiber, protein and sugar, said Michael Abberton, a scientist at the UK-based Institute of Grassland and Environmental Research.

This could open up plant-based solutions as alternatives to reducing stock as farmers look for ways to cut methane emissions amid warming climates, he told a briefing on farming and climate change at London's Science Media Centre.

He noted the average dairy cow belches out about 100 to 200 liters of methane each day, making diet changes a key potential factor in reducing this greenhouse gas.

"There is a common misperception about how methane gets into the atmosphere," he said. "It is actually through belching rather than the other end."

Agriculture is responsible for about seven percent of UK greenhouse gas emissions and a large proportion of two of the most potent gases with 37 percent of methane and 67 percent of nitrous oxide.

Greenhouses gases are widely blamed for causing global warming. Scientists say average temperatures will rise by between two and six degrees Celsius by the end of the century, causing droughts, floods and violent storms.

Abberton said introducing easier-to-digest legumes that tend to reduce methane emissions is an example of an approach scientists are beginning to explore. Legumes such as clover and alfalfa are commonly used for animal fodder.

It also requires farmers to balance cows' legume intake with other food and to develop different species of grass that are also more digestible, he added.

"What I'm saying is there are approaches within plant breeding that can lead to reduced emissions," he said.