Post by AREA666 on Apr 7, 2006 19:37:18 GMT -5
While I do not get nearly as many of these anymore I still think it is fun to see all of them listed in one place so you can be sure of the type you are getting.
THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
>
>
Make a wish!!!
>
>
>
Really, go on and make one!!!
>
>
>
Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
>
>
Wish something else!!!
>
>
Not that, you moron!!!
>
>
>
Something else! Quick!!!
>
>
Is your finger getting tired yet?
>
>
>
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of
all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
seconds, you will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown
off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true!
Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake
ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person:
One person will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people:
2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
5-10 people:
5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
10-20 people:
10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
20 to 674, 951 people:
20 to 674, 951 people will be mad at you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This
little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no
way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go
on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since
1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no
email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds
writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this
on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to you like:
Stupid Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday.
She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She
then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the
sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie,
and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his
mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car
and so was his girlfriend. They both died. Their families
were so upset that everyone related to them (even by
marriage) went crazy and spent the rest of their miserable
lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just
send this letter to all of your loser friends, and
everything will be OK.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell
like poop,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
disgustingly ugly,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you
cry about your loser life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they
really think you should be attacked by a mad goat and then
thrown in a pile of manure,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and
then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much
English, no sorry - that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because
he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild
goats.
Chain Letter Type 5:
This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to
test its e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big
high-tech company like Microsoft always sends important new
software out over the internet to be available to any moron
who can operate a computer, right? Plus, they have formed
a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to give
up millions of dollars in revenue by giving everyone who
reads this e-mail, passes it on, looks at it, knows
someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is
a friend of someone who looks at it A FREE,
ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or
EuroDisney! So pass this on to everyone you know that is
gullible enough to believe this (or not)!
Even if it's not true, hey insulting all of your friends by
implying that they are gullible by sending this to them is
worth the improbable chance that you could go to
Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your friends because
they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you,
it's worth the chance, right?
And just for good measure, if you don't send this on,
Microsoft will send its specially trained attack-goats to
pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO SEND IT
ON!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 6:
VIRUS WARNING!!!
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty
nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard
drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20
feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL
of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code,
screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will
re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all
your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will
program your phone AutoDial to call only your
mother-in-law's number. So be careful! Forward this to
all of your friends, relatives, neighbors, family,
enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock brockers, doctors, and
any other acquaintances! It's for their own good!
Thank you.
Chain Letter Type 7:
Here is a cute picture I drew.
(\ /)
( \ / )
( \ / )
( /<>\ )
( / \/ \ )
/ \ __
( ) ( )
It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your
friends so it will brighten their day like it did yours!
If you don't, demon-possessed goats will move into your
house and eat all of your socks, leading you to believe
that something is wrong with your washing machine because
all of your socks keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main
types of chain letters, onto the ironic part. In order for
this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't
think it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise
forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I
don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes
and forward it. Thanks!
Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain
letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it,
sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the
goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e.
Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds) just
delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the
world, and say, DEATH TO CHAIN LETTERS!!"
-+-Win32##Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0##1024 × 768##1-+-
THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
>
>
Make a wish!!!
>
>
>
Really, go on and make one!!!
>
>
>
Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
>
>
Wish something else!!!
>
>
Not that, you moron!!!
>
>
>
Something else! Quick!!!
>
>
Is your finger getting tired yet?
>
>
>
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of
all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
seconds, you will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown
off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true!
Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake
ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person:
One person will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people:
2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
5-10 people:
5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
10-20 people:
10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
20 to 674, 951 people:
20 to 674, 951 people will be mad at you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This
little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no
way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go
on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since
1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no
email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds
writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this
on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to you like:
Stupid Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday.
She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She
then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the
sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie,
and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his
mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car
and so was his girlfriend. They both died. Their families
were so upset that everyone related to them (even by
marriage) went crazy and spent the rest of their miserable
lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just
send this letter to all of your loser friends, and
everything will be OK.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell
like poop,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
disgustingly ugly,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you
cry about your loser life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they
really think you should be attacked by a mad goat and then
thrown in a pile of manure,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and
then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much
English, no sorry - that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because
he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild
goats.
Chain Letter Type 5:
This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to
test its e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big
high-tech company like Microsoft always sends important new
software out over the internet to be available to any moron
who can operate a computer, right? Plus, they have formed
a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to give
up millions of dollars in revenue by giving everyone who
reads this e-mail, passes it on, looks at it, knows
someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is
a friend of someone who looks at it A FREE,
ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or
EuroDisney! So pass this on to everyone you know that is
gullible enough to believe this (or not)!
Even if it's not true, hey insulting all of your friends by
implying that they are gullible by sending this to them is
worth the improbable chance that you could go to
Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your friends because
they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you,
it's worth the chance, right?
And just for good measure, if you don't send this on,
Microsoft will send its specially trained attack-goats to
pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO SEND IT
ON!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 6:
VIRUS WARNING!!!
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty
nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard
drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20
feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL
of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code,
screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will
re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all
your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will
program your phone AutoDial to call only your
mother-in-law's number. So be careful! Forward this to
all of your friends, relatives, neighbors, family,
enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock brockers, doctors, and
any other acquaintances! It's for their own good!
Thank you.
Chain Letter Type 7:
Here is a cute picture I drew.
(\ /)
( \ / )
( \ / )
( /<>\ )
( / \/ \ )
/ \ __
( ) ( )
It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your
friends so it will brighten their day like it did yours!
If you don't, demon-possessed goats will move into your
house and eat all of your socks, leading you to believe
that something is wrong with your washing machine because
all of your socks keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main
types of chain letters, onto the ironic part. In order for
this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't
think it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise
forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I
don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes
and forward it. Thanks!
Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain
letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it,
sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the
goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e.
Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds) just
delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the
world, and say, DEATH TO CHAIN LETTERS!!"
-+-Win32##Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0##1024 × 768##1-+-