Post by AREA666 on Mar 30, 2006 23:09:35 GMT -5
A not so fun sounding virus
Bad virus.. be on the lookout! If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. ******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ******* And if you don't send this to 500 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone.
Undocumented windows errors:
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now
in every file
WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadeqaute money spent
on hardware
WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass
fragments
WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what
has happened
WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B Inadeqaute disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Rame needed. More!
More! More!
WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this
happened
WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our
developers
WinErr: 011 Window open - Do not look outside
WinErr: 012 Window closed - Do not look inside
WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?
WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think
of.
WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been
destroyed. Buy a new one. Old windows licence is not
valid anymore.
WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please
reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this
error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be
inadeqaute.
WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out
our own code.
WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And
wait. And wait.
WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our
developers.
WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Remaining errors
will be lost.
WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a
dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks
will automaticly be closed and the virus will be activated
again.
WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not
been installed. Please click the left mouse button to
continue.
WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors
encountered. Next errors will not be displayed or
recorded.
WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you
want to play another game?
WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while
waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes
available
The easy to track down error
Unknown Windows error on unknown device for unexplainable reason
Gates and Hell
Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gates and
says, "Bill, we don't know what to do with you. Some think you should
go to Heaven for putting a computer in every home. Others think you
should go to Hell for Windows 95. Tell you what, we'll leave the
choice up to you."
So St. Peter took Bill Gates down to see Hell, which wasn't at all
what he was expecting. It had some nice cottages, good restaurants, a
beach and a tropical climate. Then St. Peter took Bill Gates up to
Heaven. It had angels and harps, but wasn't nearly as nice as Hell.
"I'll take Hell," Gates said.
Two weeks later, St. Peter went down to Hell to visit Bill Gates. He
found him chained to a flaming wall with demons torturing him.
"This wasn't the Hell I saw!" Bill Gates cried to St. Peter.
"Oh," Peter said, "That was the Beta version."
-+-Win32##Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0##1024 × 768##1-+-
Bad virus.. be on the lookout! If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. ******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ******* And if you don't send this to 500 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone.
Undocumented windows errors:
WinErr: 001 Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr: 002 No Error - Yet
WinErr: 003 Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now
in every file
WinErr: 004 Erronious error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr: 005 Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr: 006 Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr: 007 System price error - Inadeqaute money spent
on hardware
WinErr: 008 Broken window - Watch out for glass
fragments
WinErr: 009 Horrible bug encountered - God knows what
has happened
WinErr: 00A Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr: 00B Inadeqaute disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr: 00C Memory hog error - More Rame needed. More!
More! More!
WinErr: 00D Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr: 00E Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr: 00F Unexplained error - Please tell us how this
happened
WinErr: 010 Reserved for future mistakes by our
developers
WinErr: 011 Window open - Do not look outside
WinErr: 012 Window closed - Do not look inside
WinErr: 013 Unexpected error - Huh ?
WinErr: 014 Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think
of.
WinErr: 018 Unrecoverable error - System has been
destroyed. Buy a new one. Old windows licence is not
valid anymore.
WinErr: 019 User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please
reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this
error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be
inadeqaute.
WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out
our own code.
WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And
wait. And wait.
WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our
developers.
WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Remaining errors
will be lost.
WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a
dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks
will automaticly be closed and the virus will be activated
again.
WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not
been installed. Please click the left mouse button to
continue.
WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors
encountered. Next errors will not be displayed or
recorded.
WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you
want to play another game?
WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while
waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes
available
The easy to track down error
Unknown Windows error on unknown device for unexplainable reason
Gates and Hell
Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gates and
says, "Bill, we don't know what to do with you. Some think you should
go to Heaven for putting a computer in every home. Others think you
should go to Hell for Windows 95. Tell you what, we'll leave the
choice up to you."
So St. Peter took Bill Gates down to see Hell, which wasn't at all
what he was expecting. It had some nice cottages, good restaurants, a
beach and a tropical climate. Then St. Peter took Bill Gates up to
Heaven. It had angels and harps, but wasn't nearly as nice as Hell.
"I'll take Hell," Gates said.
Two weeks later, St. Peter went down to Hell to visit Bill Gates. He
found him chained to a flaming wall with demons torturing him.
"This wasn't the Hell I saw!" Bill Gates cried to St. Peter.
"Oh," Peter said, "That was the Beta version."
-+-Win32##Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0##1024 × 768##1-+-
