How to Make a Woman Happy

[spock]

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber

11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener

21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny

31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined

41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. Never to forget:
- birthdays
- anniversaries
- arrangements she makes.

Easy!

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food and beer.


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[Night Ω Wolfe]

ROFLMAO!!!! That's great.... and sooo true, at least from a male point of view!

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[lindalou]

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after
the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want.
And I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ..........
whether you're here or not."

(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************



Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:

"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:

"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"



(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

******************************

Marriage (Part III)



Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.



After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"


(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

******************************************


Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

**************************************


Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.



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[Cabranth]

Hello.

Wow, a pshrink could say a lot about the posts here.

Never had much use for misanthropy myself though.

Just remember that a "Woman without a Man" and a "Man without a Woman" both equal the same thing...

Extinction.

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[AREA666]

haha, you think some of the posts in the thread are bad then you should read the ones we have in Alucards area. We have to restrain ourselves when we post in the rest of the forum.

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[Night Ω Wolfe]

Haha Linda those were great!!! I am laughing so hard I can't stop crying #roflmao# Man I wish I was that witty when it comes to my husband.... unfortunatly he is the only one with the wit in the family and damn is he good with the comebacks

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[lindalou]

Poor Wolfe, Yeah I can well imagine it would be just a bit of a challenge to get a zinger past Alucard!

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[Deonhower Colmyne]

ROFLMAO #roflmao# I can't say much but that

[lindalou]

Yeah, I got those jokes in my email and I just could't resist posting them here!

[rendclaw]

spock said:

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber

11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener

21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny

31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined

41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. Never to forget:
- birthdays
- anniversaries
- arrangements she makes.

Easy!

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food and beer.


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let's be honest here.
All it takes is unlimited credit that the husband will spend every waking moment attempting to pay down therefore not interfering with the afterglow of the shopping experience!

How to make a man happy. yup that about sums it up!

[cyberkill]

LOL Well the most things are true..
But how do you get a girl/woman in to liking you ??
i mean, there are to many girls who have a boyfriend so when you finally meet a girl who hasn't a boyfriend don't blow your chance

maybe we could help the ones out who can't get girls into liking them .. i had those problems but what are girls really looking for in a guy ? Getting a girls attention isn't to hard, just keep staring at her but most girls dont like that, but you'll need to look in to her eyes a few times, then be a man and go to her and make a little chat with her. Thats the first part

any comments so far ??

[moonreaper]

Oh no, don't tell me that spock dwell's in this forum too !
Man, I'm gonna die of laughter!

[Night Ω Wolfe]

Haha actually Spock hasn't been around in a long time.... these are old jokes he posted a while back