Civarnis
Omega Wolf
[M0:11]A little bit of everything in one%\2\%
Posts: 25
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Post by Civarnis on Sept 6, 2006 14:17:19 GMT -5
A bit of backstory: Hubby and I were married in mid-January of this year. For a while, we had stuff trickling in from our extended relations, but by about March, it stopped. This was a good thing, considering we had already been living together for about three years, and we already HAD the stuff we need. Didn't have to register anywhere (and what is my in-laws' obsession with Target? I haven't exactly been impressed by them, so far, and their registry system is even less pleasing), didn't have to ask for anything, because we HAD what we needed.
Then, in June, we randomly received a large package from one set of in-laws who'd already sent us gifts. This one was forgiveable--it's kind of a family tradition/in-joke that everyone in the family gets a Kitchen-Aid as a wedding gift, and uses it long enough that it can be willed to the great grandkids. (Yes, I've seen this happen. It's SCARY.) I get a bit of a chuckle, set it up, and have done.
But my in-laws aren't done yet. Cue August, when we receive a $50 Target gift certificate. A cute idea...but we never GO to Target. There are other places twice as accessible for us that we prefer. Still, handy in the event of an emergency...
Today really got me, though. Yesterday, there was a mislabeled package notice on our dor. The only way we even suspected it was ours was the last name on the label. I went up to investigate...and sure enough, the package was ours. Check the label (because every so often, my friends send me random packages, which I'm ALWAYS cool about)...and it's another in-law. The same one sending us religious literature at least once a month. "Well, it could be worse," I say to myself as I tote the large, squishy pack home.
Opening it, I find a table runner (cool! Haven't had one of those before. Dunno how I'm gonna use it on a circular table, but I can find a use for it)...and a set of place mats.
This is our third consecutive set of place mats; the first was given to me by a co-worker at my going-away party during my move out of the house. The next was given to me as leftovers/stuff release from the moving grand-in-laws. And now this. WE'RE NOT ENTERTAINING TWELVE, FOLKS! WE GET IT!
I wonder if the thank-you cards got lost in the mail or something, because really--while I more than appreciate the generosity--there are some things you DON'T need multiples of.
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Post by Hallelujah on Sept 6, 2006 14:47:04 GMT -5
I cannot believe you are still getting gifts! Unreal! Man, my husband and I got practically nothing from anyone when we got married. At least I didn't have to send out a lot of thank-you notes. I suppose it wouldn't be very nice to send the duplicate and triplicate things back to them, would it? Although it probably would keep them from sending you more!
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 6, 2006 14:52:45 GMT -5
LOL well you could look at it this way.... at least you are getting something!
This past May was Alucard's and my one year anniversary, granted we have what we need as well because we have been together for 8 years and living together for most of that time. Short of a few cool expensive kitchen gadgets that I would LIKE to have there isn't anything we NEED. But anyway we decided not to have a ceremony (money being tight and all) and I wanted it to be beautiful so we are saving that for a special anniversary and we will renew our vows with the ceremony. So anyway we just sent out announcements to our families to let them all know we had gotten married finally. And other than a nice card and check from my father we didn't even get ONE SINGLE congrats card from ANYONE else let alone any presents. And my mother won't even use the word husband when refering to Alucard. More than that when I saw each of my family next I didn't even get a verbal congrats. So just thank your lucky stars and feel free to send any extras to me LOL J/K :S
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Civarnis
Omega Wolf
[M0:11]A little bit of everything in one%\2\%
Posts: 25
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Post by Civarnis on Sept 6, 2006 15:55:34 GMT -5
...wow. That's jank on so many levels I can't even count them. I mean, my family wasn't so hot on me moving out to live with him before we were married, but at least they made half an effort to get to know him and like him! (Well, more than that, but the wording remains for the purposes of this message.) I mean, jeez...then again, I'm kind of a quiet individual (so far as they know), so if they think that anything might stand in the way of keeping in touch with them, they'll make sure it doesn't happen. Husband disapproval, obviously, falls into that category. (Honestly, though? They like him. Even if they had any complaints--which they don't--he's a step up from the guys my other sisters have/are dated/dating (apply the appropriate word where necessary.)
I wonder if part of it was some snobbery about there not being a ceremony? You wouldn't BELIEVE the umbrage some of my in-laws took when they found out we just wanted a courtroom ceremony. (I'm not Christian, and my husband is highly uncomfortable in a church. It was the best compromise I could think of.) We figured we might try a reception later in the year (when it was warmer)...but that never materialized. And frankly, I'm happy that way.
So, congratulations on your first year anniversary! To all of those who've remembered their manners, my hat's off. To those who didn't...ah, forget 'em. They'll either come around eventually, or they'll just have to deal with their own ignorance. I wouldn't let it bother you too much.
(And for the record: my rant isn't about my in-laws. Aside from a couple of crazies, they're some of the greatest relations a girl could ask for. The complaint was about the excess--though seriously, if you want/need any of the excess, I'll be happy to send it your way! :wink: )
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Post by Hallelujah on Sept 6, 2006 17:10:00 GMT -5
I'll take the triplicates! LOL The only people who gave us anything were my parents. Not even an acknowledgement from his family. We get anniversary cards from them now, but otherwise they don't even speak. We've been married for 18 years now. :howl:
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Post by AREA666 on Sept 6, 2006 17:10:36 GMT -5
eBay always wants extra stuff.
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 6, 2006 18:37:06 GMT -5
LOL seems I am not the only one with family issues huh Hal? Well most of my family just has to much going on in their own lives to be very family oriented unless it comes to their own needs. And my mother just hates him. But hey what can you do, I also hate the guy she had decided to be with so I guess we are even. But I do have to say I put waaaayyy more effort into being on good terms with her man than she does with mine. It is great to hear that you like your family though civarnis, and AREA had a great idea.... sell the excess on ebay and use the money for something you REALLY wanted #thumbsup# Also sorry for the rant.... I had a session with my aunt about my mother earlier today so it was still fresh in my mind.
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Post by Deonhower Colmyne on Sept 13, 2006 10:38:33 GMT -5
Hmmm I never got anything for my wedding. Gifts were not wrapped and just kinda handed over...brand new and all that. Though the kitchen wares were common. The only thing I missed in our wedding is that we didn't have the money dance
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Post by Hallelujah on Sept 13, 2006 10:41:40 GMT -5
Money dance???
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lindalou
Beta Wolf
[M0:0]What's another word for thesaurus?%\2\%
Posts: 372
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Post by lindalou on Sept 14, 2006 1:05:34 GMT -5
Yeah where they pay a dollar or what ever to dance with the bride or groom and it goes into a kitty for the newly weds.
Don't feel bad Hal, I didn't have one either, just saw it at the last wedding I went to.
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Alucard
Beta Wolf
Your Lord and Master of all that doesn't make sense.[M0n:20]
[M0:67]%\3\%
Posts: 331
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Post by Alucard on Sept 14, 2006 4:11:13 GMT -5
jeez,i leave the forum for a couple months because of my job and sorting some stuff out in my head, and look what happens everyone turns all girlie on me no offense to the women posting......well no i take that back. j/k congrats to everyone who is married and or engaged or soon to be dating again. oh ummmm sorry a.d.d. kicked in i got distracted. any way what you do is wait for door to door sales men to stop by and knock on your door pop some Alka-Seltzer in our mouth start ranting about how the Pigmy's are collaborating with your blender to bring forth the apocalypse and start throwing your extras at them soon word will spread and no one Will try to sell you convert you or give you your mail any more....welll thats what i would do feel free to improvise where needed.
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Post by greyeagle on Sept 14, 2006 10:11:00 GMT -5
If you & your partner ( married, engaged, living together,dating) are happy with each other, just tewll the world to take a flying leap. Most of my family hasn't contacted me for 23 years.
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 15, 2006 10:46:50 GMT -5
Wow in a way that has to be kinda hard... though sometimes I genuinly which my family would stop calling me too. Some of them anyway.
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Post by greyeagle on Sept 15, 2006 21:40:29 GMT -5
Not really Night Wolfe. Most of my family don't think I'm a very nice person anyway. Just because of my first son being in a very bad accident which left him brain dead, and I told the Drs. to pull the machines. There was no chance for the boy, so why let him live as a complete uncontrolled monster or a vegetable. Therefor I am the BLACK SHEEP REBEL, uncaring, heartless and any other bad thing you can think of.
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 16, 2006 1:00:32 GMT -5
Oh my god!! That is horrible... I am sooo sorry. I don't even know what to say... but I do agree with your decision... I would never want to live that way myself. I have requested of my husband that if anything like that happens to be that he has to promise to pull the plug. I can't believe your family treated you that way... as far as I am concerned you were only doing the HUMANE thing!! And as if you didn't have enough tragedy as it is... they had to go and shun you on top of it. That is just ridiculous.
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