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Post by Hallelujah on Sept 13, 2006 10:18:05 GMT -5
Wierdar! That's funny! #roflmao# And yes, I do seem to attract them. Like the guy who insisted he was an alien. Come to think of it, though, he did look funny, talk funny and walk funny! #thinking#
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Post by Deonhower Colmyne on Sept 13, 2006 10:43:28 GMT -5
Hmm I wonder... what if we were all to meet at one place? Found out how we all are in person... sacked the hell out of a Starbucks counter... and probably talk about most of what nots all day... I know the last thing we want to do is talk shop when we meet... having said that, I had a dream once about all of us meeting in an event... seemed like G3 or a Comic Con, but Ascaron was there... hmm... I wonder... if we were all to meet, how fun would that be...
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 13, 2006 10:45:00 GMT -5
LOL well I attract creepy weirdos all the time... but that isn't the worst of it. Not that I am on an ego trip or anything but.... I tend to be a really nice and generous person. I will go way out of my way to do favors for my friends and even people I don't know on occasion (but that is usually computer related). I had this one friend for a loooong time, I met her because she was teaching a Wiccan class and I asked if she would be willing to trade free babysitting for some private assistance with my meditation. So it started out with me babysitting here and there. Then very quickly it got to the point where I was babysitting her kids 5 days a week because she was going to college and quite often on weekends so she could go play. I even spent a few overnighters so she could go away for the weekend. And you know how most people get like $10/hr minimum for babysitting? Well I was getting like $10 a day if I was lucky!!! This prevented ME from going back to school or getting a job. Then I met Alucard and between the two of us we were babysitting, picking her kids up from school on half days, picking her son up at a far away bus stop, driving her daughter to Girl Scouts and Ballet class (ballet was when she was younger), fixing things like her lawn mower, a broken window, broken sink, etc., etc., help with moving furniture, cleaning out the basement, doing dump runs, painting her entire house inside (parts of it more than once)..... the list goes on forever. We were spending our lives taking care of all this woman's problems so she could spend all of her time playing! This all happened over a number of years... and there was a two year break in there where I didn't speak to her. Half of that was even after the two year break and we had Lily by then. Then when we both had to work (cause we are freakin poor) and so we didn't have the time to do all these things she had the nerve to get pissed at us!! Yeah she is only one example... this is the type of person that most frequently latches on to me. I am just too nice and I want to help if I can.... so I decided it was safer to be a hermit without any friends.
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 13, 2006 10:45:58 GMT -5
Meeting would be the greatest thing ever.... one can dream ya know
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Post by Hallelujah on Sept 13, 2006 12:44:35 GMT -5
I understand getting burned like that, when you have gone out of your way help someone.
Meeting would be a wonderful thing. Maybe some day.
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lindalou
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Post by lindalou on Sept 14, 2006 1:02:30 GMT -5
I have the same problem Wolfe, too nice, and people seem to know it and take advantage. I have this girlfriend who took advantage of my generous nature a few years back. She needed a place to keep her horses just for a little bit.... needless to say it turned into an extended stay. Never got any help with hay, grain, chores nothing. But after her quarter horse kicked the sh@@@t out of one of my horses I had to tell her they had to go. In the mean time she has the boyfriend from hell and keeps crying on my shoulder about him. Ok fine, that is part of being a friend, but don't get mad at me when I call the cops cuz your peice of sh@t boyfriend is beating the crap out of you. Which is what happened of course and she didn't talk to me for 3 years. Now she has ditched him (Thank God!) and now has a really nice guy. And she is talking to me again. She still manages to take advantage of me once in a while. BUT she is also doing things for me and that would have never happened before. Really sweet thoughtfull things. Maybe she is finally growing up. Some people are takers and some are givers. No matter what, I guess I would rather be a giver. As far as it attracting wierdo's, I think it is just because we will smile at them and make eye contact when we do it and look sincere. Wierdo's don't get that to often so they latch on when happens. It's not cuz we have some gravitational pull for the wierd. Well that's my theory and I'm stickin to it!!! I think we would have a Great Time if we ever got together. Kind of like a Star Wars convention without the geeks. Oh wait according to my daughter I am one.... I wanna be the deamon! Oh yeah paper mache horns here I come! #roflmao#
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 14, 2006 8:23:47 GMT -5
ROFLOL!!!! #roflmao#
Yeah I too am glad that I am a giver... but when it gets to the point where you can't even have your own life and the people get pissed and treat you like shit if you DARE to say no... then it becomes enough is enough!!
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Post by greyeagle on Sept 14, 2006 9:57:53 GMT -5
Saddle a horse and go for a nice long ride and enjoy Gods' handiwork! Works for me when people start going off the deep end.
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lindalou
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Post by lindalou on Sept 15, 2006 0:35:30 GMT -5
Yeah sadly you have to put your foot or your hoof down once in a while to make people sit up and take notice. And even then sometimes it doesn't work. Then I agree with Greyeagle, saddle up and ride. Or just go for a walk, it has a way of making all the bad disappear, well, at least for a little while anyway. Or go have coffee with someone wearing paper mache horns. Seriously though, some people are takers and they just don't understand when you have nothing left to give, so they move on to someone else who does. And if that is the case then they were never really your friend to begin with. it is hard to mourn something that never really was, it makes you feel duped and taken advantage of and that is never good.
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Post by greyeagle on Sept 15, 2006 7:51:30 GMT -5
It's even worse when it is your own kids that think you owe them everything!
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 15, 2006 10:54:54 GMT -5
Ok well I am somewhat guilty of that one greyeagle... but then again if my mother had done things a bit differently is some ways when I was a kid I wouldn't be in a place that I needed her for stuff now... to anyone who has kids of a young age or plans to: MAKE SURE YOU TEACH YOUR KIDS RESPONSIBILITY FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE!! My mother was the type that would even clean my room and do my laundry when I was 14 years old if I didn't do it for long enough. She also would eventually give me money for anything I wanted. So now being and adult with my own child it can be hard forcing myself to do stuff that most people just do automatically... like budgeting money well and coming up with a good system on keeping up on all the housework etc etc etc. I don't even know how to cook for gods sake! Where as my husband was the opposite he was fully taking care of all the housework and his little sister when he was 10 years old and some of it younger than that. So I drive him nuts
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Post by Hallelujah on Sept 15, 2006 11:58:10 GMT -5
My biggest problem is trying to learn the difference between helping and enabling. My mother is an enabler, so it is a pattern I learned from her that she learned from her own mother.
Responsibility seems to be one of the most difficult things to teach the young. Most of us have to learn from the school of hard knocks before the lessons actually sink in. I know many adults who still have no understanding that what they do and say affects everyone around them. Even a smile can change someone's day. That person may smile more and change someone else's day, and on and on. I know when I'm having a particularly pain filled day, all it takes is a smile and a hug or a kind word to help me deal with it better.
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lindalou
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Post by lindalou on Sept 16, 2006 3:29:04 GMT -5
I was raised much like Alucard. I started taking care of my brothers and sister at the tender age of 7. By 9 I was cooking almost all the meals, cleaning, everything. Hell I even went to thier Boy Scout meetings, teacher confrences. They still send me Mother's Day cards. So while I am very independant and can take care of myself, I also I tend to "take care" of everyone in my life. My daughter is much like you Wolfe, can't cook, only cleans when I ask. But for some reason this last summer she started coming around. She knows I am run ragged with work and the farm so she actually started pitching in! Yeah it drives Alucard buggy sometimes when you don't do housework or cook but because of how we were raised (correction, how we raised ourselves) we still do it. For me it is a giving thing, I'm not a good "taker" but ask me to do something for you and I am right there. Although this last summer I have to admit for once it felt, right, to let others help me. It was hard at first (almost feels like you are losing control of what ever it is) but one can only run on 4 hours of sleep for so long before you start getting really wierd and crabby. I'll bet he loves to cook a meal for you and have you enjoy it, it makes him feel really good to give you a great meal. I remember you saying once what a wonderful cook he is. But yeah cleaning up after a grown person is infuriating sometimes. I'll bet he probably excells at just about everything he sets his mind to doing. Funny how an abusive childhood turns you into either an over achiever or a babbling mindless twit. Sometimes I wonder which is worse.....
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Post by Night Ω Wolfe on Sept 16, 2006 10:24:13 GMT -5
LOL yeah he is definitely and over achiever. He also started a lot of stuff at an earlier age than 10... just can't remember how much he did at what age so I figured it was safe to say he did it ALL at 10. Might have been a little younger though. It is so hard for me to get how that must be... I grew up as a little princess. And trust me that is NOT the way to raise your children. My daughter is of course my little princess... but that is only regards how much love I lavish on her. She had to start cleaning her own room at 4 yrs old. This of course was just picking up her own toys and putting them away, I do the vacuuming, dusting and all that. But I refuse to have a spoiled brat that can't take care of herself when the time comes. It is the strangest thing when it comes to me and Alucard though... I am always a giver to my friends but for some reason I am waaay selfish when it comes to Alucard. That REALLY infuriates him. It's strange though, you would think it would be the opposite cause I actually LOVE him. I think it is more a mental block of doing things in my own home though. Plus it has to be my turn sometime... which is also something he reminds me about himself when I am being selfish.
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Post by greyeagle on Sept 17, 2006 8:25:57 GMT -5
Hey you gals that do everything except cook & clean-- YOU ARE NOT SPOILED, YOU ARE WELL TAKEN CARE OF! I do it all- cook, clean, laundry, all critters, yards, haul trash, etc. Only trouble I have is with 180 pound bales of hay. Then I have to enlist the help of a MAN. But he holds a good job, works at least 6 days a week, gives me anything I want ( within reason), Does not expect me to wear makeup and doll my hair, all that stuff. It has worked for 22 years so far. Now to figgure out what I want this payday- chicken wire, new kitty, new puppy, a goat, bigger bird cage..................?
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